Final Fantasy vs Twilight
by secretgal
Summary: What happens when the ff characters learn of the existence of Twilight? For those who dislike Twilight.


_Somewhere on a Square Enix film set..._

"You guys, you guys!" screamed Vanille as she burst into Lightning's trailer. Snow, Hope, and all of the other XIII cast members were there, along with the Verus crew of Noctis, Stella, and the prince's crew.

"What is it this time," groaned Lightning.

"I just discovered the greatest thing ever...TEH INTERNET!"

Vanille raised her arms in joy, a big smile on her face. The others in the room were not so amused.

"Um, Vani," commented Stella, "the internet has been around for some time."

"We all know about it," added Noctis.

"I know it exists," cried Vanille, "but I found the greatest site ever!"

"And that is?" Lightning said.

"Fanfiction!"

Everyone in the room became interested.

"Tell us more about this...fanfiction," spoke the long haired general.

Vannille ran across the room and picked up Lightning's laptop computer. She then began to type in the website.

"People basicaly write their own stories with characters from games, books, and stuff. Look, there's already stuff for our games!"

"Well I'll be," spoke Sazh, his eyes wide with suprise. Hina looked on from her hiding place in his afro nest hair.

There were ooh and ahs, even a few curious glances at the FFVII section.

"Wow Light, your brother has so many stories about him," said an awed Vanille.

Lightning scoffed. "It's these stories that make that chocobo emo head's ego so big."

"Hey, what's a cross-over?" asked Snow out of nowhere.

Vanille replied with, "It's where stories from one series meet with the characters of another. Let's see...there is a ton of FFVII crossovers."

The group spent another few minutes browing through the list, hoping for something to catch their eyes.

"What's Twilight?" questioned Hope.

"Don't know. Wanna check it out?"

The room filled with a resounding 'yes'.

_Fifteen Minutes Later...and one Twilight Fic finished..._

Vanille's jaw was opened. Lightning was screaming and punching the wall. Hope was in a ball on the floor, crying and sucking his thumb. Noctis was raging. The general had put on a Sephiroth wig and was burning parts of set while sing 'One Winged Angel'. Snow was trying to avoid Lightning's kicks. Stella was prepared to jump out of the window. Sazh was ripping his hair out.

"THAT WAS THE WORST THING I HAVE EVER READ!" roared Noctis. "WE MUST DESTROY THE SPAWN OF SATAN!"

"How the heck can a vampire sparkle?" asked Vanille. "That makes no freaking sense."

"I don't want to live anymore!" cried Hope.

Lightning had made a gigantic hole in the wall, but it had calmed her down. "Vani, how many more Twilight stories are there?"

The room fell silent. All that could be heard was Vanille clicking the Twilight section of the fanfiction site. Seeing the number, she turned her head to face Lightning, fear in her eyes.

"It's..."

"It's?" replied Lightning.

"It's over..."

"It's over?"

"IT'S OVER NINETY THOUSAND!"

"#!*&" she screamed.

Stella walked back into the trailer, her white pointy shoes in hand. "WE MUST DESTROY THIS ABOMINATION!" She then smashed the shoes on the computer. "IT. MUST. DIE!!"

Everyone calmed down for a moment.

Lightning pulled out her cellphone, and called a number.

"Hello..." came a voice over the phone.

Lightning replied in a calm manner. "Cloud, get your buddies. We're going to kill some sparkely jerks."

_Somewhere in Forks, Washington (or where ever the heck those books take place in)..._

"Oh Edward, you're perfect," mused Bella Swan.

She smiled as he looked longingly into Edward Cullen's dead eyes.

"I shouldn't like you Bella," he replied. "I'm such a monster."

"But we were ment to be together!"

"But I'm a monster!"

"But I love you..."

Just then the front door opened and a few figures walked in.

"Who the heck are you guys?" asked Edward, looking at the group of bizare people who had just entered the room.

"My name is Cloud Strife and this is my sister Lightning, her BF Noctis Caelum, and my friend the Warrior of Light."

"Oh, Edward, are these more of your vampire friends?" asked Bella, a stupid smile on her face.

"No!" cried Vanille, who had just walked in with all of the other 800 characters from the Final Fantasy universe.

"We are here today, Edward and Bella," spoke the Warrior of Light, "because you are creatures of darkness."

"Your fans are insane, for putting us in really really crappy fanfiction stories," added Luneth.

"Now we are all for creative stories..." spoke Terra Barnford.

"But this is utter crap!" said Squall.

"So we have all decided that we need to destroy the fanfiction, like a little weed," began Cecil.

"By destroying the source," finished Lightning.

"But how are we involved?" said Bella.

All of the characters raised their weapons, summoned their most powerful spells, and aimed at Bella and Edward.

"Oh save me Edward!" screamed Bella in a monotone voice.

_Two Minutes later..._

"Thanks guys," said Cloud with a smile on his face.

"Let's hope those stupid sparkly vampires never bother us again," added Lightning.

With that, they all walked into the sunset, smiles on their faces.

The End


End file.
